Not so much as a child, but as a teenager. Once I could drive I didn’t quite have the same level of supervision and was really really able to have a lot more freedom. I’m pretty cautious person in general, but had a friend that was definitely not and was obsessed with college parties in high school.
We lived about an hour and a half from a college town so every now and then my friend wanted to drive up there and check out the parties. To be honest, there really weren’t a lot of parties going on. However, she did remember the house that had a party that she had gone to previously, so we would just show up at this house every now and then and hang out with the guys that lived there (party or no party).
Here we are 16 or 17-year-old girls showing up to these random college guys’ house. Thankfully, nothing ever happened, but it certainly would’ve been easy for something to happen.
Girls I was at school with used to get picked up by guys in cars when they were like 12 and 13 so those guys were at least 17. At 17 I wouldn’t have wanted to hang out with a 12 or 13 year old girl.
This particular friend of mine was obsessed with older men and getting any kind of attention for men she definitely had gotten into cars with strangers, met up with a random men, etc… I don’t think anything bad ever happened to her, but she was lucky In that instance. She wasn’t so lucky because she ended up getting addicted to drugs and overdosed and died In her early 20s.
Sorry to hear that. I also lost a friend to addiction who’s experiences with older men in her formative years were unfortunately quite negative, which sent her down the addiction spiral and made her seek out more experiences with older men. Those experiences and the addiction both, I believe, ultimately stemmed from her father’s actions. His own addiction and abusive, neglectful behaviour being a result of trauma in his early life. I can’t speak to your friend’s past of course but I imagine men and substances filled a hole in her own life likely left by a similar generational trauma and abuse cycle.
I’m sorry to hear that. Looking back, I suspect it was probably the same or similar with my friend, but I was too young to see or understand it and her and I are coming from upper class neighborhood. These things would be brushed under the rug, not talked about not believed, etc…
Here we are 16 or 17-year-old girls showing up to these random college guys house.
Oh man. It’s scary how normal this is treated. I remember having friends with “older boyfriends” and I always felt really weirded out by it. Yet when you’re a kid (or teen, in this case) and your friends act like it’s normal to want adult boyfriends, you’re put in a really awkward position. I wasn’t able to fully articulate or even comprehend everything fucked up about it at the time, but as an adult looking back, holy shit. There’s an entire hidden social ecosystem where being groomed is not only considered normal, but can be seen as enviable by peers.
Looking back the whole situation, it’s terrifying. I don’t think my parents ever figured that I was in that kind of situation with my friend. We were super lucky that nothing bad ever happened because it would’ve been very easy for us to be taken advantage of and we had no idea.
These guys had to be at least 21 I don’t know how much rent cost there at the time or how much it was to share a house with two or three of your friends, but they certainly weren’t 18-year-old Freshmen and we had to be 17 at best. This particular friend was obsessed with any kind of male attention so for me it was kind of like an eye roll whatever at that time but looking back is like oh my God. Like you said it’s terrifying how normalized it is as teenage girls to get some kind of attention from older men.
Not so much as a child, but as a teenager. Once I could drive I didn’t quite have the same level of supervision and was really really able to have a lot more freedom. I’m pretty cautious person in general, but had a friend that was definitely not and was obsessed with college parties in high school.
We lived about an hour and a half from a college town so every now and then my friend wanted to drive up there and check out the parties. To be honest, there really weren’t a lot of parties going on. However, she did remember the house that had a party that she had gone to previously, so we would just show up at this house every now and then and hang out with the guys that lived there (party or no party).
Here we are 16 or 17-year-old girls showing up to these random college guys’ house. Thankfully, nothing ever happened, but it certainly would’ve been easy for something to happen.
Girls I was at school with used to get picked up by guys in cars when they were like 12 and 13 so those guys were at least 17. At 17 I wouldn’t have wanted to hang out with a 12 or 13 year old girl.
This particular friend of mine was obsessed with older men and getting any kind of attention for men she definitely had gotten into cars with strangers, met up with a random men, etc… I don’t think anything bad ever happened to her, but she was lucky In that instance. She wasn’t so lucky because she ended up getting addicted to drugs and overdosed and died In her early 20s.
Sorry to hear that. I also lost a friend to addiction who’s experiences with older men in her formative years were unfortunately quite negative, which sent her down the addiction spiral and made her seek out more experiences with older men. Those experiences and the addiction both, I believe, ultimately stemmed from her father’s actions. His own addiction and abusive, neglectful behaviour being a result of trauma in his early life. I can’t speak to your friend’s past of course but I imagine men and substances filled a hole in her own life likely left by a similar generational trauma and abuse cycle.
I’m sorry to hear that. Looking back, I suspect it was probably the same or similar with my friend, but I was too young to see or understand it and her and I are coming from upper class neighborhood. These things would be brushed under the rug, not talked about not believed, etc…
Oh man. It’s scary how normal this is treated. I remember having friends with “older boyfriends” and I always felt really weirded out by it. Yet when you’re a kid (or teen, in this case) and your friends act like it’s normal to want adult boyfriends, you’re put in a really awkward position. I wasn’t able to fully articulate or even comprehend everything fucked up about it at the time, but as an adult looking back, holy shit. There’s an entire hidden social ecosystem where being groomed is not only considered normal, but can be seen as enviable by peers.
Looking back the whole situation, it’s terrifying. I don’t think my parents ever figured that I was in that kind of situation with my friend. We were super lucky that nothing bad ever happened because it would’ve been very easy for us to be taken advantage of and we had no idea.
These guys had to be at least 21 I don’t know how much rent cost there at the time or how much it was to share a house with two or three of your friends, but they certainly weren’t 18-year-old Freshmen and we had to be 17 at best. This particular friend was obsessed with any kind of male attention so for me it was kind of like an eye roll whatever at that time but looking back is like oh my God. Like you said it’s terrifying how normalized it is as teenage girls to get some kind of attention from older men.